The Difference Between Gratitude and Thankfulness

Psychiatric Medical Care Communications Team

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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow” (Beattie, 1990) 

According to John Hopkins Medicine, there is a direct correlation between a positive attitude and your mental health. Research shows that positivity can even improve your physical health. However, a positive attitude is not just thinking happy thoughts. It takes effort and determination to remain positive, especially in today’s world. 

A positive attitude is formed by the choices we make daily and how we react to situations and others around us. When we brush off disappointment or rude comments, we maintain a positive attitude. Our attitude is also influenced by how well we ignore negative self-talk and accept our current circumstances. There are other ways that people embrace a positive attitude and those include being thankful or practicing gratitude. 

However, what many do not realize is that being thankful and practicing gratitude are quite different things. We all grew up being told to be grateful and to say “Thank You” when someone did something kind for us. It became easy to use these terms interchangeably, but what we have learned is that thankfulness and gratitude are not synonyms. 

Thankfulness is a Reaction 

It is your birthday, and you are eight years old. You really want a new bike, but your parents have told you that a bike is too expensive. Imagine your surprise, when you wake up and there is a red bicycle sitting in your living room. You look over to see your grandmother smiling. Your mom says, “Say, ‘Thank You.’” You rush over and give your grandmother a great big hug. You are thankful, and the moment is a happy one! 

When something good or exciting happens, it is easy to be thankful. We appreciate the warm feelings that come with gifts or happy news. Thankfulness involves how we feel in the moment, and like all feelings, eventually, it fades. Thankfulness is a temporary emotional response to a temporary circumstance. 

It is important to express thankfulness when something good happens. Being thankful is not inherently bad. It is part of showing appreciation to others or for your good fortune. We are thankful when we get a new job or meet a new friend. However, thankfulness is not enough to keep us in a positive mindset. Setbacks and things that we are most certainly not thankful for will always interfere with our thankfulness. Because of this, we must rely on other ways to maintain a positive attitude. One such way is by expressing gratitude. 

Gratitude is a Chosen State of Being 

Where thankfulness is an emotion, gratitude is an attitude of appreciation under any circumstance. Gratitude involves being thankful, but it is more than that. Gratitude means expressing thankfulness and being appreciative of life daily even when nothing exciting happens. 

When you are late for work, your coffee spills in the car, and you realize your socks are two different colors, gratitude is the smile on your face as you reach your destination. Gratitude is your decision that the day is a good day even when evidence points to the opposite. You do not need something good to happen to have gratitude, and when bad things happen, your gratitude does not falter. You know that sad things are just a part of life, and you are happy with the life you lead. 

By choosing to cultivate gratitude in your life, you are actively improving your health and well-being. A study from the University of California Berkeley states, “Research suggests that gratitude may be associated with many benefits for individuals, including better physical and psychological health, increased happiness and life satisfaction, decreased materialism, and more.” 

Gratitude is about being content physically and mentally with the state of your life. You may not always be happy, but you can still practice gratitude. In fact, the same study from Berkely asserts that practicing gratitude is not only good for you but for your relationships as well. 

The study states that “Gratitude is also important to forming and maintaining social relationships.” When you engage with someone and express gratitude for them, they are in turn more likely to express gratitude in return. The expression of gratitude is what helps us form new relationships and strengthen our current ones. Studies have shown the positive effect of relationships on our emotional well-being, and it is one more added benefit of practicing gratitude. 

The Differences Between Gratitude and Thankfulness 

So how do you know if you are operating from a spirit of gratitude? As already mentioned, gratitude is an important part of keeping a healthy psychological outlook, but it is closely related to thankfulness. So, what are the differences? 

• Thankfulness fades-Gratitude remains: Gratitude often begins as thankfulness, but the difference happens when you keep your focus on everything that remains as thankfulness fades. Gratitude will stay with you. 
• Gratitude deepens our inner connections-Thankfulness is external: We feel thankful when something happens externally. When we practice gratitude, we rely on our inner voice to stay positive and remain appreciative in all circumstances. 
• Thankfulness is about the present interaction-Gratitude improves the long-term relationship: You may feel thankful to someone at the moment, but gratitude is an ongoing showing of appreciation in your relationships. Practicing gratitude in your relationships will bring you closer to the ones you love. 

Although gratitude and thankfulness are closely related, gratitude provides you with a longer-lasting feeling of satisfaction and improved well-being. Practicing gratitude is proven to offer many benefits to individuals. 

Ways to Practice Gratitude 

There is no right or wrong way to practice gratitude. Gratitude should be an internal expression of your own thankfulness, but many people find physical acts of gratitude increase and maintain their happiness on a long-term basis. 

Below are some suggestions for your own gratitude practice. According to John Hopkins, by choosing a gratitude practice, you are ensuring resilience when times are bad. You are maintaining a positive attitude, and you are lessening your risk of depression. 

1. Start a gratitude journal. Your gratitude journal can be as simple or elaborate as you please. It can be digital on your laptop, or you can buy a notebook to share your thoughts and feelings. If you hate writing, you can use a voice recording app on your phone to speak in your journal. Most people begin a gratitude journal by writing three things they are grateful for daily. If you want to write more, you can. The key is to find a way to be consistent with the journaling. 
2. Begin a meditation practice. Mindfulness and gratitude go hand in hand. Finding time to meditate for even a brief period daily can have a tremendous effect on your well-being. As you meditate, you can silently list the things you are grateful for or you can simply repeat a mantra like, “I am grateful for all that I am and all that I have.” Hate sitting still? Take a walk and use that time to think about your gratitude list. 
3. Sign up to volunteer. Giving your time to help others is a fantastic way to show gratitude. Find an organization that interests you and see what volunteer opportunities they offer. When we help others, we are reminded of all that we have and instantly feel grateful. 
4. Spend time with loved ones. Spending time with your loved ones often is an effective way to remain grateful. Having close friends and family helps us feel supported and loved. By pursuing your relationships and creating memories, you will create a list of gratitude memories to draw on when you need a pick me up. 
5. Give away to others. Find things in your home that you no longer use and donate them to a charity in need. We all have items that lie around the house and cause clutter. Clear out the clutter and brighten someone else’s day with a donation. When we realize all that, we have, it is impossible not to maintain an attitude of gratitude. 

Expressing gratitude is beneficial in many ways. Thankfulness is also an important value to cultivate. Together, they make the world a kinder and happier place. To maintain good mental and physical health, consider cultivating your own gratitude practice using the above suggestions. Share the idea of gratitude with your friends and loved ones. Remember, your attitude is always within your control-make it a grateful one!